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KIGUME KARURI - My Blog
| November 6, 2009 | 5:29 AM |
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MAN HAS A MAJOR ROLE
A MAN HAS A MAJOR ROLE
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Principle One.
God made men and women in his image. God made man as a leader and woman as a helper. They were created with the ability to communicate and reproduce through sexual union... sexual activity is sacred (according to God’s law) and reserved for married couples alone. Men and women are created with specific roles and purposes... when these are breeched, problems follow.
Principle Two
God created men and women to be divided into family units. God identified himself as our Father and made it clear that we would be bound to one partner and produce children... just as he had done.
Observations
1.Men are more than willing to allow women to take the lead in spiritual matters. Adam was with Eve when she spoke to the serpent and the man stood silently by while allowing Eve to make the spiritual decisions. This ended their covenant arrangement with God.
This is a weakness in men. God being well aware of this male tendency to avoid spiritual matters, reserves certain in the church for men only forcing them to engage with the church and God. Failure to appreciate these truths also ends our covenant with God.
2. God made women attractive to men (the first thing they became aware of after they ate the fruit was they were naked... their sexual characteristics were awakened), also, like the trees in the garden, he could not partake of a fruit that was not blessed by God.
Solutions
1. Men need to initiate family fellowship, family prayer life, supervise children’s social commitments... honour all God given responsibilities through the power of the Holy Spirit. EPH 5:2528
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
2. ‘’But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed’’.Jam 1:14 Temptations have to be stopped before they start... this minimises sinful behaviour. Commitment to spiritual responsibilities minimises temptations and minimises sin at the same time. GAL 5:16 This I say then, ‘’Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh’’.
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CHALLENGES OF MEN 1
Man is a very interesting creation of God. God has given him a will and authority. In the recent times however, man is increasingly becoming endangered and the place of authority that God had given him is threatened by the woman he is supposedly to head. Hence the need for man to understand that some of the challenges we are talking about in this lesson are so crucial in his life.
Man is threatened in his physical presence, has emotional frustrations and his spiritual maturity is also endangered. As a result, he gets into financial, sexual, family and societal frustrations.
This has led to him being a victim of circumstances rather than a victor.
In our society, there has been a lot of emphasis on the girl‐child, whereas the boy‐child is almost completely ignored. We have very few role models amongst men and very few mentors if any.
The boychild is increasingly becoming irresponsible and cannot make right decisions. Hence the need to raise mentors and fathers among ourselves. The Church of Jesus Christ is not spared from this also. Our young men are increasingly moving away from the church and particularly when they have made some money or have acquired very good jobs.
To sort out this mess, we need to understand the three dimensions of Man in his life.
Three Dimensions of Man in Life
1.Personality‐ This deals with his inclinations. This is true about him since birth, who we are, our motivation, temperaments, etc.
2. Ability‐ This deals with what instructions we have received in life. Ability is the total sum
of our learnt experiences in life (from formal/ informal education and
experiences in life).
3. Maturity‐ This deals with intimacy with God. This is the Spiritual dimension of our lives,
our walk with God.
When Man combines the three dimensions he becomes effective and is able to handle
challenges in life.
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CHALLENGES OF MEN 2
STAGES IN THE LIFE OF A MAN
The Kikuyu myth
Its said in a Kikuyu myth that the creator of heaven and earth created 3 creations namely man, donkey and dog and each of them was given a life span of 30 years with the donkey and dog under the authority of the man for that period. It is said while the man went on a journey the donkey and the dog went back to the creator and suggested that their lives under the rulership of man was too long and needed to be reduced. The creator asked how many years the donkey and the dog wanted reduced and they both said 20 years. Hence, when the man came he was given the whole matter by the creator and he was asked to comment on the same. The man selfishly said that he should be added the 40 years from both the donkey and the dog. Hence man acquired 70 years.
The lesson
From the 70 years allocated them to man, the first 30 years are termed ManYears, the
second 20 years from the donkey, are termed DonkeyYears, and the remaining 20 years from the dog are termed DogYears.
i) The ManYears.
This is the period when a child is conceived in its mother’s womb to the period a
man is 30 years old. During this period, a man is directly dependent on the parents
for his upbringing, in supplication of his needs, character, development e.t.c. He
accepts to be modeled by his parents at the early stages but while he is schooling,
he gets peer pressure and his character could change. I would simply say he has no
control over his life. This is the period that he has to understand the environment
around him and seeks solution to a lot of suspicions. He gets to know there are girls around him and he is sexually attracted to the opposite sex. He doesn’t know
how to handle a lot of issues in his life. This is the period he gets a career for his life
or his direction in life. He makes a lot of mistakes in his life. The decisions cause a
lot of havoc in his family. He wants to be independent while he still needs support
of the family.
He can make it from here or fail and become disastrous. He may marry after the
age of 22to30 or delay the same for his own reasons
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CHALLENGES OF MEN 3
ii) The Donkey Years (31 – 50 Years)
This is the most challenging period in the life of a man. Once the honeymoon of the
ManYears is over, the man enters into a stage that determines whether he makes it
or losses it. He may have married or gets married, starts bringing a young family,
children are in school, some become teenagers, has a young wife who needs
attention, failure to which the marriage would be endangered. The family needs to
think of the future, starts investing while still trying to settle down. The man is
being challenged by the society to prove that he is worth so the man stretches
himself very much. He has to work very hard. He works just a donkey does,
sometimes with positive results and other times with lots of frustrations. He is
beaten here and there and it is very painful.
For those employed the demands are very high at work and pressure in the family is
high. Between 35 – 45, some of the men undergo a difficult time in their time as a
result of Mid-life Crisis. He is pushed by the society left and right. He either makes
it or breaks down. After 45 years of age, he is being threatened by his employer of
being retired early while the children are in school and need a lot of money to
educate them. He has to deliver otherwise the employer will replace him with a
younger, cheaper, energetic person.
He has to provide for the needs of those in the Man Years in his family who are also
pushing him very much. By the time he is 50 years, he is already too tired and his
production curve starts going down.
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CHALLENGES OF MEN 4
iii) The Dog Years (51 – 70Years)
This can be the most rewarding phase for a man if he made it in his Donkey Years or
it could be the period when he easily expires. Most men in our country are known
to have passed on 2 – 3 years after retiring from their formal employment because
they may not cope up with the pressures in life particularly of if they had not
organized well their lives well.
In this phase the children are now mature, they can make their independent
decisions some are in their Man‐Years while others have started their Donkey‐Years.
They can only consult you if they wanted or ignore you completely. You can only ‘bark’. This may be a period of reaping from the past. The children can mishandle
you if you mishandled them while they were growing.
It is also a sweet period when you see your grand children being born and brought
up and also visiting you.
It is the time that sexually you are not that active. Things move rather slowly. It is
also the time that you need the moral support of each other more. This is the
period that diseases and illnesses are frequent. It can be a very trying moment too.
Most men are left lonely while the children have nice times with their mama. The
mama keeps on visiting her children to see the grandchildren while the Mzee is left
lonely at home.
iv) Bonus Years (>70 Years)
If God gives you more than 70 years of living, then these are bonus years but they
can be painful years.
CONCLUSION
After learning the above phases, I feel that we need to agree with Paul when he said
“Have this mind that was in Christ…….” We need to do the right things at the right
time failure to which, frustrations set in. for example if you married at 45 years of
age, you will bring up your first born during the Dog Years and also extend to the
Bonus Years. It becomes difficult for you and the child too.
Do the right thing at the right time. In this aspect the great challenge is then
organizing your life well. Prov 16: 1-2 “We can make our plans but the final
outcome is in God’s hands…. Other things don’t make up to 100%, it is only
ATTITUDE that makes up to 100%
Be blessed
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